Tips to Navigate the Challenges of Single Parenthood

by Cheryl Conklin
​Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs an adult can have. Being a single parent is even harder. You have all the challenges other parents face, taking care of this little life completely in your hands, but without the support of co-parenting. You have to be both father and mother to your child. But fulfilling both roles can leave you exhausted and depleted. When this inevitably happens, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone and there are plenty of ways to help you manage parenthood solo.

by Cheryl Conklin
​Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs an adult can have. Being a single parent is even harder. You have all the challenges other parents face, taking care of this little life completely in your hands, but without the support of co-parenting. You have to be both father and mother to your child. But fulfilling both roles can leave you exhausted and depleted. When this inevitably happens, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone and there are plenty of ways to help you manage parenthood solo.

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Pinching Pennies
This is probably one of the first things that pops into the mind of single parents when asked about the challenges they face. Raising a child is an expense very few families are prepared for, let alone single parents. While money troubles can be overwhelming, there is help out there. Cutting back on spending can seem impossible when you’ve already cut back so much. It doesn’t help that your child is going to outgrow his shoes and his clothes, sometimes in a matter of months. One thing you can do to cut costs in this area is to buy used. Look online, not just on eBay and bidding sites, but on Facebook selling groups local to your area. You'll find new and used items hugely discounted. Don't overlook consignment stores and charity shops either. You can save a lot of money by simply buying “used.”

When it comes to food, keep an eye out for sales and stock up when you can. Opt for cheaper proteins like canned tuna, eggs and beans, and don’t always go by “best by” dates.

Communicating with Your Child
Children ask questions. It's part of growing and learning. Your child will always have questions, and often you’ll hear the same questions over and over, and he’s likely to ask them at inopportune times. It's easy to put him off or lecture him, especially after the constant questions, but think of it this way— how do you feel when someone talks at you, rather than with you? It's incredibly important for children to feel heard, and therefore valued.

You may have had a long week at work and are tired from housework and cooking and helping your child with his homework. None of this is your child’s fault, so be careful in how you answer. It is perfectly acceptable to tell your child that you'll talk about something later, when you have more brain power, as long as you follow through and do talk about what your child wants and needs to hear. Keeping a foundation of communication with your child will pay off as he gets older.

Finding Time
Even with two parents, managing everything a child needs is a full-time job. With one parent, and the added pressure of supporting a child alone, finding time to get everything done (let alone having time to yourself) can seem like an impossibility. One way to keep on top of everything is by creating a schedule and sticking to it. Routines are a great way to keep the gears of a household turning. Plus, children benefit greatly as it gives them a sense of structure and security. They know when homework needs to be done, but they also know when lunch will be, or when bedtime is. In addition to implementing a routine for your child, make sure you carve out time for yourself. Even if it’s 15 minutes reading a book or going for a morning run, you’ll have time that’s your own.

You can help keep your routine through apps to mark mealtimes, when homework should be done, bedtimes, when that next parent-teacher meeting is, etc. In addition, try using a large, dry-erase calendar to help your child keep track of the schedule so they can get to know their routine.

And always make time for fun as well. Whether you’re playing sports in the yard, doing arts and crafts, or playing video games, the time you spend together will help you and your children bond. Keep in mind that if your family is playing video games together, you’ll all have a much more enjoyable experience and smoother gameplay with a high-speed internet connection.

The tools of planning, routine, and knowing what resources are available to you can make a vast difference in how you and your child feel; these things can give you both a sense of surety. It's important to remember that you're not alone in this, no matter if it feels like you are. Rely on friends and family for support when you can, and look for ways to connect with other single parents or support groups. Set yourself up to more easily handle the challenges you can control and you’ll have a leg up on maneuvering the crazy adventure that is parenthood.

Image Courtesy of Pixabay.com